Bipasha Basu doesn’t need a husband to validate her
She’s just turned thirty, has no biological clock ticking and marriage isn’t even a distant thought. Here’s Bipasha Basu, in a free wheeling Chat • If I were to tell you to list ten things a girl should do before she gets married, how many could you list.
I think I couldn’t go beyond one, because there’s one thing I absolutely believe. A girl should be financially independent before she gets married. No matter how good the man, how trust worthy, how caring, financial independence is a must. The marital institution has weakened a bit and people walk out easily so there must be something to fall back on, to have a life, to begin a new one. In today’s times there is nothing like this is the love of my life and it will last forever, so you have to bank on yourself.
• Maybe have one last fling?
Flings have never featured in my life. I have been in a solid relationship from the time I was 17. I’m a solid relationship person. This is not to make a statement, it’s just the way I am. I value my relationship and if someone messes with it, they’ll get a kick up their arse.
• How about travelling on your own?
That’s not for me either. I like to travel in large groups with friends, boyfriend and family. I am not a backpacker. I am actually a very protected girl, who always had someone to look after her.
• You do plan to get married at some stage don’t you?
Yes I do, because I have grown up seeing my parents’ marriage and touch wood, it is a great marriage. After so many years they still crave for each other, my father has her photograph as his screen saver and loves it when she is looking pretty and she still cooks special meals for him. As for when I plan to get married, my friends often ask me and my parents do too but I think when the time is right you just know, and I don’t know it yet.
• Does the thought frighten you?
Not the thought of marriage as marriage. I’ve been with John for eight years now, it’s almost like a marriage. What frightens me are the intricacies. Like when the his and hers become ours. Just now it’s his house and my house, when the day comes that I can think of his things as mine and my things as his, that’s when I will be ready for marriage.
• But when you do think of marriage it is John that comes to mind isn’t it?
(Laughs) Yes at this point of time it is, because we are in a serious, hard core relationship, there’s nothing frivolous about it. Everyone around us knows and both the families accept us as part of their family. Also, though John is a very responsible person, I don’t know what kind of a husband he would make. He definitely wouldn’t be like my dad, who is my ideal for a husband. And he’s pretty old, his basic characteristics aren’t going to change, but this is what I’ve fallen in love with so let’s see. If we have to get married we will. I don’t know.
• Now that you have turned thirty (Jan 7) has your life changed in any way.
For one, from next year I’m not going to talk about my age except to age backwards either by one year or two, as the fancy strikes me. I heard that after 30 it was a must to have multi vitamins so I started taking them just before I turned 30 and now I take this fistful of tablets that include a multivit, Vitamin E, Vitamin C, Omega 369, Calcium and sometimes I wonder why I’m eating food. I’ve never ever done a facial, so now that I’m 30 I’m contemplating starting a moisturising facial except I don’t know who to ask about it. My mother looks fantastic even at this age and she looks extremely young and I look like my mother so I’m hoping this age thing won’t affect me much. Maybe I should take up clubbing, say once a week, for the rest of my life. I gave that up eight years ago, that was the big compromise I made for John since he doesn’t like to dance and is, in fact, quite stiff.
But actually nothing much has changed in my life; though I do feel
more responsible now. I don’t understood why there is so much baggage thrust on a woman when she turns 30. It doesn’t happen to a man. I don’t know why a woman is supposed to be married when she is 30. It’s not like I need a husband to validate me. I got famous on my own and I’m proud of that.
• Isn’t there anything you want to do before you get married?
There is, I want to master the art of cooking. After marriage the logical next step is motherhood and, according to me, any woman that does not cook for her children is not a good mother. I am disgusted by mothers who don’t cook for their kids. I want to be able to cook everything, to bake and do all sorts of stuff in the kitchen. My parents are both great cooks and so is my elder sister, so I think I too will be good at it.
I recently baked a cake for John for his birthday and it was the hit of the party.
• Has your relationship with your parent’s changed?
Yes definitely. I am much more close to them now. At 17 everyone rebels without a cause. But as you grow older you value them more, you see them in you and you start missing them and want to spend more time with them.
• Isn’t your biological clock ticking?
No, it can’t start ticking at 30, today women are having kids in their forties. Before it starts ticking I’ll get married.